It's About You

“We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.” ~Mother Teresa 

Pssst

I don't always feel this way. Sometimes it seems like 

everyone else has everything under control, except for me. 

I think everyone feels that way every once in a while and the whole theory is therefore ironic. Sure some people may appear to be ahead of you in some aspects of their life. I remember going to Camp Artaban every year when I was  younger and there was this one girl who always seemed so much more mature then the rest of us. Not in wisdom or anything, but in the way she acted. She shaved her legs a year earlier than the rest of us and flirted more and knew so much about guys and being social and parties. Then when we all came back the next year we'd caught up to how she was the year before, but lo-and-behold she was already a year ahead of us again. I don't know where she is now, but I know that I'm good with where I am. She may be 'ahead' of me still, but who says that's a good thing? I like my innocence -to an extent- and my childhood ways. I also like learning things for myself. Her 12 year old self had already experienced things that I have yet to experience, but that doesn't mean she's any better than I am. I've had a different life than her and I'm okay with that. Who knows what other people will do in their life and what experiences they will have. What you do know is that you have your experiences and that it is your choice to take from them what you want. 

Like I did with that story. 

but shh don't tell anyone else

or else they'll catch up to you..

& then we'll all be back at square one. 

Lonely Planet

Try Again

This Happened to a Friend of a Friend of Mine

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how

things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it

and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed

as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and

placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she

placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed

ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the

carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed

them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did

and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take

an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard

boiled egg

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter

smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it

mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same

adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in

strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the

boiling water, it softened and became weak The egg had been fragile. Its

thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting

through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee

beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had

changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your

door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with

pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the

heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a break-up, a financial

hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my

shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff

spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very

circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and

flavour. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change

the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you

elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot,

an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make

you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you

happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;

they just make the most of everything that comes a long their way. The

brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go

forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone

around you is crying.

Some Advice

"When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but do not quit.
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit."

It All Comes Back Around

At age 4 success is . . . . not piddling in your pants.

At age 12 success is . . . having friends.

At age 17 success is . . having a driver's license.

At age 35 success is . . . .having money.

At age 50 success is . . . having money.

At age 70 success is . ... . having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is . . . having friends.

At age 80 success is . .. . Not piddling in your pants. 

Yes maybe you're teddy can get more fans that Justin Bieber, but really, who cares?

We have an incessant need to be better than everyone and everything else. Why can't we just be happy to be who we are and not try to bring others down to our level? Facebook is jam-packed with people who want to be the best at something or want to have the most hits, the most friends, the most likes, the most comments. They share their lives.. every detail of them.. with the world to see what the world has to say. We are being put on a stand-still because of our need to share our every thought. We don't move forward because we're too busy looking back and to the side. Look at what I'm doing right now. Not living my life, because I'm too busy writing down a blog post online, which no one will see and yet I still hope that someone someday will see this and read it and comment. Why? Why is our society the way it is?

War.

War created the internet, but no one ever talks about it like that, because they don't want such a 'good thing' to be tainted. If you don't have a cell phone or a computer you won't do anything in your life, right? I wouldn't know, because I haven't experienced it.

The Lady Gaga Philosophy

"When you make music or write or create, it's really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you're writing about at the time." –Lady Gaga (who else)

Lady Gaga is like all of us, but inside out. She shows EVERYONE her inner feelings, her inner beast, and her inner child. She is who she is and no one else. Your hate or love for her does not change who she is.

You have the responsibility to do whatever you can with the voice you’re given. ~Anonymous

Life Advice

Dreams of the Night Variety

I used to have a reoccurring dream where my hands were covered with these furry white moving creatures-type things. No matter what I did they wouldn't come off so I would rub my hands together again and again, because in those seconds that one part of one hand was on top of the other, those things would come off, but once I stopped rubbing they'd grow back.

Similar to the furriness on this child, but it would only grow to a certain point and then stop. 

A few years later I had the dream again. This time I stopped rubbing my hands together. I didn't feel that it was worth it. I gave up and I couldn't figure out if that was because I had given up on doing what I wanted or if I had just decided to live with what life threw at me. It's still something I think about sometimes. What's the difference? Attitude I suppose.

Ice Queen

I told my friend about this dream and she asked if I was the easter bunny- a seemingly random question, but I hadn't told her that this dream was always a nightmare for me.. the furry things on my hands being something I viewed as bad. I never thought of it as a good or interesting thing, it was something that haunted me. Again, attitude is what changes the world.

Now some pictures:

Ninja vs. Penguin bunny

http://www.ninjavspenguin.com/blog/tag/dreams/ <--- interesting blog about a person's dreams

Work

I was talking to a co-worker, who has become my friend and whom I love working with and I was saying how I'm nervous about how I don't know many people there and working with new people will be strange, because many of them already know each other and this was her response:

"but you talk to trini & mary a lot at work! haha when you were gone tonight everyone was like "....... i miss vrindy" and like "it's weird not having vrindy here." LOL. so, feel loved."

I feel like a different person. I want to make an impression on people. I want to be seen and heard and me and I think I am. I hope so anyway.

Today a homeless guy had a sign up that said 'I bet you $1 that you'll read this sign' and so I smiled and he was watching me and then he flipped it over when I smiled and it said 'if you're smiling you masturbate' and I laughed all shocked and was like 'that's not cool' to him jokingly and he said something about how everyone laughs and if I had a penny and I said sorry I don't have any money and he said 'that's okay' and then I walked away.
Never would have happened in the past.

I'm regretting not entering this raffle at work today for some kid's sister's something haha it was a $1000 for $2 a ticket.. I mean that's a lot of money consider it takes me an hour to make $8, but still.. $1000 is a lot of money! And I'm lucky.. I should have done it.

so much!

I haven't forgotten about this, but I may as well have. Let's see what's going on in life right now. Well IT'S AWESOME. I love life. I love doing things. I love being me. My work is fantastic. Sometimes it's awful and boring and slow and people are telling me all the things I'm doing wrong and I HATE that, but then my friends come and we talk and it's amazing! Plus I'm pretty darn comfortable with things now. I switched from 5 days a week to 4.. so that's nice too. I have only worked 3 or 4 days a week, but it's still quite a lot, but I don't get paid very much. And then I GOT INTO CANADA WORLD YOUTH! and that's nice :) I thought I would, but I wanted to be pessimistic so that I wouldn't get my hopes up only to have them dashed. The CISV interchange isn't happening and I didn't get to go to the Norway IYM which I don't think I even wrote anything about. I was really excited about it and then I didn't want to go randomly. So I'm glad I didn't get it. It was a lot of money for not a long time. I also got an interview for a secretary job at the government for $20 an hour. I really want that job. I'll let you know how it goes. OH AND .. Collectively Canadian IS SO AMAZING! I know everyone's names! (I may be the only one in fact to know everyone's names-- or almost everyone at least) and I'm such a leader in it and I love it.

I'll tell you later why I love my job, but I'll tell you briefly that today a guest (customer) came in and trini and I were both on tills and he had to choose between us lol and I was like 'you can choose either one' and he came to me and it just felt good :) it doesn't mean much, but it's nice and then I started talking to him and stuff. I love talking to the guests and they obviously always ask about the movies and I wish I was  better at critiquing movies so I could give feedback to them haha because I've already seen 7 of them.